Should I Contact A Ghosting Narcissist?
Ghosting is Becoming More Prevalent
Ghosting is not just occurring in the dating or interview scenes. No, it’s getting more and more common for some people to uses this as a way to end long-term love relationships–even committed ones like marriage.
When people are ghosted in this manner, one of the plaguing questions they have is “Should I reach out to them?” As someone whose been there, my firm answer is a loud resounding “No!’ If you were ghosted, I say never to contact them at all.
First, Let’s Consider The Act of Ghosting
Like it or not, ghosting carries a very distinct message: ‘I don’t care for you enough to provide you with any kind of explanation.’
It matters little if they disappeared suddenly because they didn’t want to be uncomfortable by having to have ‘the talk’. Any way that you slice it, the takeaway is that they view you as beneath them. Put another way, they are a despicable user of people. They find you disposable. In other words, whatever excuse you find more palatable, the fact remains that you’re still dealing with the same thing.
You didn’t deserve any of those options. Furthermore, you deserve a mature partner in a love relationship—not someone dysfunctional, arrogant, immature, and cowardly.
Ghosting Can Be A Wake-Up Call
Here’s the silver lining. The fact that that you would even consider further contact and want to pursue them is an indication that there is something unhealed within you (rejection wounds in childhood perhaps?) This is something that only you (and hopefully a trauma therapist) can ferret out, but it definitely needs to be dealt with.
You never want to be in a relationship with someone out of need. Neediness is not alluring and I’m talking from experience here. So do not pick up that phone. Resist the temptation to look at his or her social media. Do not text them. Remain No-Contact. SIn other words, just move on.
Lick your wounded ego. Preserve your dignity, and keep in mind that not everyone we take a liking to is good for us.
There is Life After Ghosting
I promise you that if you make the effort to do the work on yourself, you’ll find peace and a better life out there. So, do not become bitter and keep the door open and motor on.
It’s like my old southern Mama used to say “One monkey don’t stop no show’.